So I've never had a blog before, although I think I'm probably the last person on earth to have one. And I'm not sure why I'm doing this or if it's even a good idea. But I want to try it for a couple of reasons. Number one being that I have baby twins, and a lot of friends and relatives want to know what's going on with said babies, but do not want to have facebook pages. Therefore, if I have a blog, maybe they can just look at it and see what the babies are up to. Here's a picture of them, their names are Weston and Aila and they're just adorable if you ask me!
So that's reason number one. Reason number two is, I'm home with Weston and Aila ALL THE TIME, and also my two older kids, and I'm starting to feel like I pretty much never have a conversation with anyone I didn't give birth to or marry! Sometimes I just crave conversation. Maybe people will leave comments on here? Maybe it'll feel like a conversation? Or maybe it'll just be an outlet in which I can basically talk to myself.
The third reason is, I have no job. I want a job, I NEED a job, but I have no time for a job, and if I got one, all my earnings would go towards childcare, so that would be useless. But I saw the movie "Julie and Julia" one of the 25,000 times it played on the E network this week, and in it, Julie starts a blog and everyone in the world reads it and she publishes a book and she no longer has to live over a pizzeria. Now I am well aware that that kind of thing happens only in the movies, but at least I can fantasize about it. I'm going to fantasize that I suddenly get thousands of fans who are fascinated by my little writings, and I will somehow come to the attention of my favorite freelance writers, Erin Zammet Ruddy. And Erin will help me get a job freelance writing for Parent Magazine and/or Glamour magazine, which she also writes for. And then I will be able to stay at home with my babies, and yet make a living wage, and like Julie no longer having to live above a pizzeria, I may one day be able to move my family out of this neighborhood where people get shot in the head, and where little children cuss out adults and throw glass in kiddie pools. So THAT is my fantasy.
I think, however, that to have the kind of blog that eventually gets one a book deal, it's supposed to have a theme. I thought about making it all about the twins. But frankly, I enjoy tangents and it seems like almost daily I have some kind of something that I can't get out of my head, and I don't want to be limited in what I can ruminate about on here. Today, for instance, I am thinking about fatness. Not just fatness in general, mind you, but my PERSONAL fatness.
My husband is one of the few who doesn't care about my fatness, and never complains or seems to be bothered by it. But I have personally come to the point where I no longer find MYSELF the least bit attractive, and it's starting to make me wonder what the heck is wrong with him that he DOES. This is not good. I have been, you know, large, for quite some time now. I'm used to large, and I'm a firm believer that you can be big and beautiful and have curves and confidence. But I have now passed that point, and have fallen into blob territory. When one no longer feels like a big beautiful woman, but rather like a giant, unattractive blob, it's time to do something. And so yesterday, I started eating healthy. Yep, yesterday. It's like an alcoholic saying they've been sober for a day! But hey, you have to start somewhere. So I've started, and am going to try really hard to continue. Tomorrow, hopefully I will have something more interesting on my mind than my fatness, but for today, well, there you go!