Wednesday, September 26, 2012

In Which My Babies Fight

This is how my day has gone so far this morning:  I wake up to the sound of babies crying and know they need attention.  I go into their bedroom and they both smile, happy to see me, cuz they both wanna be changed and fed and play with their Mommy.  Aila was crying the hardest, so I get her up first and start changing her, and she's immediately happy, hugging me, babbling.... meanwhile, Weston sees that I've got his sister and not him, and he starts complaining to let me know he does not appreciate it.  I'm trying to change Aila's diaper, but looking over my shoulder to speak lovingly to Weston, so he doesn't feel left out.  As soon as I can get Aila changed, I put her in the living room over the gate where she's safe till I can get Weston changed.  When I put her down, she thinks I've abandoned her and screams and throws herself down in the floor.  I'm telling her "It's ok!  I'm coming right back!"  As I go get Weston to change his diaper.  He's thrilled to be picked up and is hugging my neck and babbling to me, all while Aila is now wailing in the living room, cuz she's abandoned.
When HIS diaper's done, I put him down in the living room also so I can start making the sippy cups of warm formula.  Weston goes straight away to play with his favorite toy, pushing the same button over and over and over and over and over....  but Aila stands at the gate nearest the kitchen and wails at me about how hungry she is.  So I heat the first batch of formula, pour it in a sippy cup, and hand it over the gate to Aila.  She is, after all, wailing and Weston is busy with his toy.  And it's gonna take me a grand total of about 30 seconds to make the other sippy cup.  Now she's happy and drinking away at her warm milk, while I run off to make Weston's.  I get about 3 steps towards the kitchen when I hear banshee style screaming....I turn around and Weston has already crawled over to where Aila stands, holding her sippy cup up in the air in a vain attempt to keep it away from her brother, who's got her by a good 5 pounds and at least 2 inches of height.  He's DETERMINED to get the milk, and he's shaking he wants it soooo badly.  He's crying too, and reaching and pulling on her to get it, and she's SCREAMING cuz he's bullying it away from her.  I tell him "no" and to wait, and make sure Aila has the cup, and then RACE to finish making his.  He's screaming the "it's not fair!!!" Scream.  At 11 months old, they don't really understand "wait a minute" or "I can't fix them both at once."  They just think "Mommy fed the other one while she's making me starve!"  No matter how fast I go or who I take care of first, I always, ALWAYS feel guilty. 
Finally I get Weston's cup of milk in his hands, and he chugs it, till it's gone in like, 2 seconds, and then he immediately begins pulling Aila's out of her hands again.  She looks at me like "Do you SEE what he's doing?!"  I fix him a second cup of milk and then make them little bowls of cheerios and graham crackers to munch on.  I put the bowls in front of each of them, and their milk in front of each of them, saying who's they are as I set them down.  "This is Weston's food, and Weston's milk.  THIS is Aila's food, and Aila's milk."  I breathe a sigh that finally the fighting will end because their needs have been met.  Weston takes his own bowl and turns it upside down, and then jerks Aila's bowl away from in front of her and begins eating.  ARRRRGH!!!!!
Right NOW at this very instant, they are happily playing together.  He's pushing THAT SAME BUTTON on the toy and she's dancing to the music of it, and they're grinning at each other.  But any second now, ANY SECOND...he'll touch something she wants or she'll touch something he wants or he'll pull her hair or she'll poke him in the eye or they'll both decide they want me to hold them and then not want to share my lap or SOMETHING, and they'll be mad at each other and fighting again. 
I LOVE having twins, I really do, and I am thankful every day that I had them and that they're healthy and beautiful.  But this is the worst part about having twins... the sibling rivalry, the fighting.  And I'm gonna be caught in the middle of a constant battle between these two for the next 20 or so years of my life.  It's gonna be grrreeeeaat.


  1. Oh my - I can actually "feel" your deep frustration. I'm sure you don't want Weston to be a bully just because he can be due to his size. It sounds like you have your work cut out for you. At least "most" of the time, they seem happy - right? You are are an excellent Mommy so I know you will be fine.

  2. Yeah, but BECAUSE you can't constantly cater to them, they are learning patience. Think how different these two are from your first, who had a very long, involved bedtime ritual. You plunk Aila & Weston in bed & they conk out.

    Twins, (or kids w/ close siblings) HAVE to learn to self-soothe, to get along, to be patient...hard on mom when they really want something, but excellent for them in the long run. They become more self-sufficient.

    The bullying will be a problem because one is bigger than the other, & you'll have the ongoing problem of protecting your littler one. But most of the time they are really cute together!

  3. I really want to have twins...except for this one reason! I'd probably pull my hair out at least 20 times a day from those little things that made me wish I had plenty of extra hands available to do whatever I needed to keep them happy all the time. But who can have that? Maybe in the new system, the angels will be baby sitters and they can help with all the difficult tasks :) But really, you're doing great!!! It'll get better when you can reason with them, but as far as I'm concerned, you're super mommy :)

  4. My day is peaceful till Benjamin comes home from school. Then it starts...They are playing together, then suddenly they are fighting and screaming at each other. I send them to separate rooms, five minutes later, they are begging to come out and promising to play nice...ALL AFTERNOON LONG its like that. The other day, Isabella comes running in my room, screaming at Benjamin to leave her alone and stop following her. I tell her that when she wants alone time, she should close the door to her room, so Benjamin knows she doesn't want him around right now. Just like he does with her. I tell him he has to respect her space too. So, she goes into her room, then comes right back out in 30 secs and says, "But I just want him to come in my room and play with me. C'mon Benjamin, lets play" Really kid???

    1. Yep, I'm trying not to freak about it cuz I remember how badly I "hated" David when we were little. He ate, breathed, and moved wrong as far as I was concerned! But I did always wanna play with him anyway. Then when he was about 14, I suddenly really liked him! Same with Betsy and me. So I'm just biding my time till 14.