I hate homework. I hated homework while I was in school. I frequently, in fact, did not DO my homework while I was in school, and instead waited until I was in the class before the class I had to turn in the homework for, and would hastily make an attempt at doing the homework without the teacher in the class I was currently in catching me. And because I was doing homework for another class while in THAT class, I would proceed to make horrible grades for THAT class, because I hadn't been paying attention or doing my work in that class, I had been doing homework for the next class. Because that's the kind of organized, motivated, super a-plus kind of student I was. Now if it happened to be that I was in a class like Theater Arts, Music Appreciation, or Creative Writing, which I happened to love, THEN I would pay attention, and I would work hard. But if the class was something pertaining to, oh, I don't know, Biology or Math of any sort, I was going to have my brain shut off while I was in there anyway, so there was really no point in me even taking up space in their desks.
I also hated projects. And I would remember that I had one on like the night before it was due at about 9:30pm, and then go crying about it to my mother.
My most vivid project memory was when we were supposed to do a science project. I had a friend, Jennifer, who lived up the street from me. She was the type of person who wrote everything out in neat handwriting, then typed it, then put the typed pages in a little fancy folder so it looked like something important, and started on things way, way, way before they were due. She always got a's and she ended up going to Duke University. She was my closest friend at school, which was funny, because we were so opposite in a lot of ways. I was the type of person who scribbled out my reports on paper out of a ringed notebook that had to be ripped out and had all the messy edges and looked like a piece of trash. And I never started anything until the very, very last minute.
So one year, we had a science project, and it could be on almost anything, but it had to glow under a UV light because they were gonna make a cool display in the school window. Jennifer worked for about a month on a highly detailed cross-section of a cell. I waited till the night before, and I took a piece of plywood and spray painted it black. Then I took some glow-in-the-dark paint I had bought in order to make paint blotches on a white pair of Keds I liked to wear, and I poured the orange glow-in-the-dark paint onto a round styrofoam ball like you use to put flowers in that I had made my mom drive me to Hungates to pick up at about 9pm. There wasn't enough paint to cover the whole thing, so the back was all white, and I was too stupid to think to cut across the styrofoam ball to make it flat on one side to lay on the board. I just used super-glue to glue down the white side onto the black spraypainted plywood. And then I wrote "Mars" underneath it. "Mars" came unglued and rolled down my driveway the next morning, and by the time I got it to school, it was caked in gravel, which I had to try to shake off before I attempted to re-glue it to the board. Jennifer laughed like crazy at me and my pathetic project. She laughed until our grades came back and she had made an A plus, and I had made an A minus. Then I laughed like crazy.
Anyway, the point of all this is that I hate homework and school, and schoolwork, and projects, and I certainly didn't wanna start having to do them for my kids when THEY went to school, and yet here I sit, with a piece of paper Dalton brought to me saying "You have to fill this out by tomorrow!" Where I have to answer the following questions: 1) What is the question being studied? 2) State the hypothesis, problem, or engineering goals. (Ok, I just PUT a period there, because it is a statement, but on the actual sheet from the school, they finish off the previous statement with a dadgummed QUESTION MARK, yet I'M the one who didn't pay attention in school!) 3) Detailed description of methods/procedures to be used; type of data to be collected, how data will be analyzed. 4) Bibliography/References (include at least 3 sources) Then last, it says "I agree to assist the student in completing a project for the Science Fair." and there's a space for me to sign my name.
Well, NO, I do not agree to help the student. I don't WANT to do a project for the science fair! And yet, on a previous page, I was informed that it is REQUIRED, so I guess you've got me over a barrel, now don't you, school people? Furthermore, what kind or REFERENCES am I supposed to have for a science fair project? Dalton was gonna do one about toy cars with weights and how fast they go depending on how weighted, etc...but where are there REFERENCES to that?
I HATE stuff like this, and it seems like there's more and more of it, where the parents have to do the work for the students. I don't wanna do the work. I graduated. I have four children to look after, and I'm busy, and I don't CARE about weighted cars or what happens if you mix chemicals.
I think I'm gonna spraypaint a ball orange and super-glue that crap on a piece of plywood.